


Aftermath

by amusawale



Series: War of the Winchesters [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cheating, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Marriage, hunter!dean, lawyer!Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2018-11-12 21:09:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 19,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11170122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amusawale/pseuds/amusawale
Summary: Life has gone back to normal. Whatever normal is. Sam is finding that normal isn't all he cracked it up to be.





	1. It's a Wonderful Life

[](https://ibb.co/k74ifU)

Sam was bored.

It was nine o' clock in the morning and he'd already destroyed Tim Allen's career. Three phone calls and his show was canceled and he was blackballed from Hollywood. That should teach him to pay his gambling debts on time, or stop lying about when he would pay them anyway.

One did not fuck around with Hollywood mafia and expect to walk away scot free.

Especially not when Sam Winchester was their lawyer.

He had also arranged to have all Tim's residuals deposited in the bookmaker's account.

Minus his 10% of course.

Sam fingered his phone, wondering what Dean was up to. Maybe he could pull him away from his office and have a nooner early. Dean was much more appreciative of having Sam around these days. After all that mess with the witches, the ancestors, and everything, he'd finally found it in him to forgive Sam completely. Turned out dying was good for _something_.

Sam smiled, hand still on his phone, wanting to call Dean. But he knew that Dean was off somewhere with real Missouri, consulting another psychic about something or other. He hadn't really been listening this morning. All he'd understood from the conversation was that Dean would not be available for any quickies at lunch time. 

Which was a crying shame.

Sam sighed.

Destroying careers and extorting money wasn't as much fun as it used to be. He thought about maybe selling the firm and going into business with Dean. Killing monsters never got old. 

Plus quickies at lunch would be a given.

"Mr. Winchester, you're 9:30 appointment is here." his new secretary said through the intercom. Fran or Enid or something. He could never remember her name.

"Send him in," he said with another sigh. He looked down on his desk, expecting to see a file or something which would tell him everything he needed to know about his next appointment. But there was nothing. He frowned and was just about to call his secretary in to ask her what the fuck when the door opened.

But there was nothing. He frowned and was just about to call his secretary in to ask her what the fuck when the door opened.

He frowned and was just about to call his secretary in to ask her what the fuck, when the door opened.

"Sir, this is Mr. Mick Davies," his secretary said, leading in a suave looking gentleman in a Savile Row suit. He had a bit of a five o' clock shadow and exuded a confidence not commensurate with his height.

"Mr. Winchester," he said in an upper crust British accent, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

Sam's eyebrow went up, "Do we know each other?"

Mick smiled, "Not yet. But I hope that we will be very good friends. I have a proposition for you."

Sam gestured to the seat opposite him, "Do tell." he said.


	2. Conversating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam gets downloaded on the sitch.

Sam leaned back in his chair, studying this Mick guy. 

Entitled fucker.

Thought he had the keys to the fucking universe.

Is here acting like he holds all the cards.

What cards?

Unless he was holding Dean and his kids hostage somewhere, he had no cards.

"Like I said, Mr. Winchester, my name is Mick Davies and I represent an organization you may have heard of called the Men of Letters."

Sam's eyebrows went up but he said nothing. He wasn't here to tell 'Mick' what he may or may not have heard of.

Mick Davies smiled.

"Sam Winchester" he chanted, "Plays it close to the vest. Lets his big brother do all the talking."

Sam's eyebrows rose even higher.

"We have a file on you and your brother. Those two adorable kids you have? Although I will admit we don't know how that is possible. Don't suppose you'd care to tell us?"

Sam just looked at him.

Mick sighed.

"Well to continue my one-sided conversation, we have received word of a new artifact. Well, actually it's quite an ancient artifact, known as the Mark of Cain-"

“What the one from Cain and Abel?”

Mick looked startled at the interruption.

“Quite” he said.

“What about it?” Sam asked leaning forward. This looked like something that could pass the afternoon…

“A former member of our...organization, one Alberto Magnus, is on the hunt for it. Now this is a very dangerous man, you understand? With such a weapon at his disposal, who knows what he might do?”

Sam leaned back in  his seat, “And this is my problem how?”

“We would like to commission you, and your brother, to hunt this Mark of Cain and secure it for us before Alberto gets his hands on it.”

Sam spread his hands wide, “Look around you. This is a lawyer’s office. Did you not know the way to my brother’s firm?”

“Another operative has been assigned to discuss this with your brother. We need both of you on this case. You have no idea just how dangerous Alberto can be.”

Sam snorted, “We’ve dealt with a group of undead witches on the hunt for chaos, I doubt one little man of letters is going to stump us. Dean could probably send one of his operatives to deal with this one.”

“ _ Ex _ -man of letters my boy. And no. Do not underestimate this man and what he can do. We need the Winchesters.”

“When we had our kids, we vowed that we wouldn’t put us both in danger at the same time-”

“I was under the impression that you  _ just _ returned from vanquishing the ancestral witches..” Mick interrupted.

Sam sighed, “That was a debt, it had to be paid. Right now we just want peace and quiet.”

“Well you won’t have it for long if you don’t deal with Magnus.”

“Why can’t you deal with Magnus? Isn’t he your problem?”

“Indeed he is. Unfortunately we are scholars, not fighters. This assignment needs both.”

“I’m sorry Mr...Davies? Is it? The answer is no.”

Mick Davies sighed standing up slowly, “I hope you change your mind Mr. Winchester. For all our sakes.”

 


	3. Domesticity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam comes home from work

“Honey! I’m home.” Sam called as he slammed the front door behind him. 

The announcement was immediately met by the pitter patter of tiny feet which somehow managed to sound like stampeding elephants heading in his direction. Maybe it was all the screaming and shouting that accompanied them that made it seem that way. Sam winced, screwing a finger in his ear like that would make it stop. The disadvantages of wolf hearing included the fact that screaming was absolutely not necessary for Sam to hear when someone wanted his attention. Someone needed to explain that - softly and quietly - to his kids.

His son Jupiter launched himself at him as if he was Captain America and Sam only just got his hands up in time to catch him. His sister was more cautious, only winding herself around Sam’s legs like the world’s pudgiest snake.

“Hey guys. Where’s daddy?” he asked.

“Papi I got A in my test today!” Jupiter said in answer.

“No you didn’t.  _ I _ got A!” Jasmine growled, reaching up to pinch her brother.

“Gentleman! Lady! Come on. You can both have A’s okay?” Sam interjected quickly before this fight deteriorated into a knockdown, drag out. His children definitely took after him.

The sound of a step made him look up. Dean was leaning against the door jamb of his study, smiling at his family.

“Hey.” he said quietly.

Sam just stared at him for a moment. His brother-husband was so beautiful. What did he ever do to deserve him?

Sam sighed like a lovesick princess and then caught himself when Dean grinned.

“Shut up.” he muttered and his brother outright laughed.

“So how was your day honey?” Dean asked as his kids used Sam as a climbing ladder.

“Great. Had a visit from some British guy.”

“Oh yeah? What’d  he want?”

Sam shrugged as much as he was able with Jupiter on his shoulders, “Job.”

Sam began to drag the leg Jasmine was sitting on forward as he tried to reach Dean since his brother was making no effort to straighten up from his pose.

“He wanted a job?” Dean asked in surprise.

Sam leaned down so his lips could touch Dean’s and then proceeded to kiss him for two minutes while their kids complained about their ‘yuckiness.’

“Mmmm” Dean said when Sam finally let his lips go, “Did you have steak for lunch?”

“Burger.” Sam said.

“What?!? Without me?” Dean asked folding his arms in preparation for war.

“Hey. You snooze you lose. You’re the one who decided to go Chuck knows where with Missouri.”

Dean sighed, “I knew you weren’t listening this morning.


	4. Babysitting Ain't for Pussies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winchesters being domestic

It wasn’t until they were going to bed that Sam and Dean got the chance to talk. First there was that whole whirlwind that was an evening with the twins sans Genevieve, and then there was getting them to wash up and get in bed. Sam wasn’t used to this part of the day; he was usually still at work or catching up on his reading while Genevieve and Dean dealt with..all of this.

But he was trying to do better by his kids and his mate and so here he was, wrestling with Jupiter in the name of having a bath.

“We don’t pay Gen enough” he gasped as his son blew a bubble of soap right into his eye.

Dean laughed but he was out of breath too, chasing after Jasmine whose bath was done but who felt the need to run around with one sock, stark naked, chasing fairies she said. Sam grabbed a cloth, wiped at his eye and dumped a bucket of warm water over Jupiter’s head.

There.

That should be enough to rid him of enough soap to declare bath time over. 

“Brush your teeth?” he asked tentatively, visualizing the various ways that forcing Jupiter to brush his teeth could go wrong.

“Noooo” Jupiter yelled, waving his toy airplane in the air as Sam struggled to dry him off.

“Please?” Sam asked, pulling pajama bottoms up Jupiter’s still damp body.

“K.” Jupiter said and went quietly to the sink, took his toothbrush, put some toothpaste on and began to brush his teeth. Sam just stared in stupefaction.

Dean came back into the bathroom, holding a wriggling Jasmine in his arms.

“Jazz, stay still so I can put your night shirt on.” he breathed.

“Try saying please.” Sam said with a  smug smile.

Dean gave him a death glare but Sam just gestured at Jupiter who was busy rinsing his mouth at the sink, “It works.” he whispered as his grin got wider.

Dean turned on his heel and left the bathroom.

Two hours later, the twins were in their own beds, stories had been read, water had been fetched. The night light had been left on, then off then on again, a glass of milk was drunk by Jasmine and Jupiter’s stuffed gorilla had been located and tucked in as well. 

Sam and Dean finally escaped, collapsing on their own bed in shock.

“Dude.” Sam said in wonder.

“Yep.” Dean replied.

“We need to give Genevieve a raise.”

“An all expenses paid vacation would be kinder.”

Sam shot up, “Nooooo. How would we survive? Unless she went with the kids.”

Dean laughed, relaxing back onto the thread count sheets and sighing luxuriantly. Sam watched him, enjoying the play of the light on Dean’s skin, the scent of him so close, slightly aroused and ready to be stimulated further, open in both body and heart. He breathed it in deep, bathing  himself in the scent of his mate; in no hurry to take it further just yet.

He sighed, eyes closed and thought ruefully that happiness had a smell. It was rich and hot like old leather with just a hint of the bitterest tang of vodka and the toasty scent of cinnamon on a bun. 

He smiled.

“You smell good.” he said.

Dean turned to look at him, squinting to disguise the amusement in his eyes, but unable to hide his smirk. 

“You smell me often?”

Sam’s smile widened and he shrugged the one shoulder that wasn’t between him and the bed, “Sure.” he said.

“Animal.” Dean murmured.

“You got that right” Sam replied grinning widely and pounced. He placed tiny bites all along Dean’s neck, teeth slightly elongated as his nails traced circles along Dean’s arms. His brother laughed out loud and at the joyous sound, Sam thought his heart might just burst. They were still brothers though so he couldn't share this thought with Dean. He just held him tighter, closer. 

Knowing that Dean didn’t need the words said.

Thanking Chuck that Dean didn’t need the words said.

“So how  _ was _ your day?” he asked sliding off his brother.

“Great. Caught a case.”

“Oh yeah? Something interesting?”

“British dude, came to me with this story about something called the First Blade. Wanted me to find it before some other cat did.”

“Oh yeah?” Sam said again, eyebrows hiding in his bangs, “That all the guy said?”

Dean shrugged, “Yeah, more or less.”

“He...didn’t mention me at all?” Sam persisted.

Dean turned to face him, puzzlement on his face, “No. Should he have?” he asked.

“Mmm.” Sam said looking off thoughtfully into the night. This case got curiouser and curiouser. 


	5. Conversations are for suckas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally, Sam and Dean have that pending conversation.

Eventually, Dean got up off the bed and walked away.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked. His erection was just starting to agitate for some attention.

Dean said nothing, just stopped by the dresser on top of which was his record player. He flipped through his box of records and put on some Alice Cooper. The sounds of electric guitar filled the room.

_You're cruel_

_device_

_Your blood_

_like ice_

_One look_

_could kill_

_My pain_

_your thrill_

_"_ Very romantic," Sam said wryly. 

Dean turned around smiling, playing air guitar as he sang along to the chorus.

"Oh, I'm poison am I?" Sam asked smiling outright as he sat up to take his pants off.

"I wanna love you but I better not touch" Dean sang throwing his head back like a rock star.

"Oh please. Touch," Sam said holding his arms.

Dean put aside his imaginary guitar and leaped onto the bed, grinning as he fell in Sam's arms. But instead of paying attention to urgent matters like Sam's straining erection he straddled Sam and put his arms around Sam's neck.

"So, why were you so interested in my new case anyway?"

Sam gaped at him, "You're asking me this _now_?"

Dean smirked, "I know you, Sam. You ain't tellin' me something. So spill or you can suck your own dick." 

Sam sighed. 

Damn Dean and his paying attention anyway.

It'd been like this ever since his confession. He couldn't get away with _anything_ anymore.

If he even changed his breathing, Dean swooped in like a hawk, wanting to know why.

He thought nostalgically of the days when his whole life was a lie and Dean was oblivious. Ah, good times.

"Sam," Dean said his voice conveying quite clearly that he was about 30 seconds from getting off Sam's lap and spending the night in the guest room. Almost dying only gave Sam so much leeway.

"Some British guy came to see me too today. About the first blade," he said.

"What?"

"Yeah. He wanted me to work with you on it."

"Why?"

"Seemed to think it was a two Winchester job."

"What did you say?"

Sam gave Dean a look like his answer was obvious, "I turned him down."

" _Why_?" Dean seemed honestly surprised.

"Because I'm a lawyer now. Not a hunter."

"But...you're bored of it," Dean said as if it was a fact.

"What? How do you even know that?" Sam was pretty sure he hadn't at any point shared his thoughts with Dean. What sorcery was this?

Dean smirked, "Sam, I don't know why you insist on maintaining the delusion that you're some kind of mysterious guy. Can we just take it as said that I know you better than  you know yourself?"

Sam just stared at him.

"If that's true, then how come you didn't know about-"

"Oh, I knew something was up. My mistake was in not trying to find out what."

Sam stared at the bedspread, mind churning, "Oh." he said softly.

"Now. About this British dude" Dean said as his hand closed around Sam's dick, "What exactly did he want from you."

Sam sucked in his breath, eyes closed as he tried to think while Dean jerked him off, "Uhhh" he said.

"What? I didn't catch that" Dean said as he played with the head of Sam's dick and the reached down and sucked it like a lollipop.

"AAaaAhhhh" 

Dean's lips made a plopping sound as he released Sam's dick and straightened up, "Sam you better start making sense in the next five minutes or I'm out." he said.

Then he bent back down and took Sam's dick back in his mouth.

 _'You can do this man. You've done it before. How many times has Dean sucked you off? You. can. be. coherent.'_ Sam told himself.

"It was....uh.....uh" his breathing came faster and faster, he tried to think, "He said....his name was Mick Davies."

Dean released his dick again, but his hand took over covering the warm wetness that was the head of his dick where Dean had been sucking it and prevented it from losing that luxurious heat. He massaged the head gently other hands running lightly over the skin of his balls and making him want to shiver.  

He lost his train of thought. 

"Go on," Dean said. 

"Uh," Sam said thrusting lightly against Dean's hand. 

"Ah ah, no coming. You're going to come inside me." Dean said squeezing Sam's dick hard. 

Sam flopped back on the bed, praying for strength. If Dean thought he was helping to prevent orgasm he was sadly mistaken. 

"He just said that he needed both of us to find this first blade thing before some other guy did. He said the other guy was dangerous."

"Mmm. Yeah, that's what my guy said too." Dean said as he took his pants off, "So, what are we gonna do?" he asked as he straddled Sam's waist and positioned Sam's dick so he could sink down on it.

Sam lifted his head from the pillow, "We haven't uh..." he tried to protest as Dean bore down on his dick.

Dean waved vaguely at the bedside table and Sam turned to see a...butt plug laying there, still gleaming with lube.

"Oh," he said faintly and then there was nothing else he could say for a while as Dean went to town on him. He arched up as much as he could, thrusting up as Dean sank down on him, his brother's face a picture of concentration. He wanted Dean with him when he came so he reached out and pulled his hair so he would look Sam in the eye.

Dean turned his head from watching their joined bodies, glaring at Sam. he didn't slow down even a little bit though.

"Kiss me," Sam said and the glare disappeared from Dean's face as he changed his angle, leaning down so he and Sam were chest to chest, lip to lip, eye to eye.

Sam undulated upward, thrusting deeper into Dean as their roles changed and he became the primary aggressor in this game of 'hit the prostate as many times as you can.'

"Sam," Dean said, his voice hoarse and broken.

And that's all it took to break Sam. His whole body arched upward, suspending Dean in the air as his body convulsed and shuddered and poured his seed into Dean.

"Aaaaah," Dean said as his own body followed suit.

They both collapsed on the bed and lay where they fell as if dead.

"Dean?" Sam whispered an indeterminate time later.

"Yeah?"

"I want another baby."

 


	6. Is This Middle School?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean fell off the bed he was laughing so hard.

Dean fell off the bed he was laughing so hard.

Sam lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, face in full sulk.

"So I tell you I want to have another child and you....what? Bust a gut laughing?"

"I'm so- I'm sorry S-Sam bu-but yo-u can't be. serious." Dean wheezed, clutching his stomach as he tried to straighten his face out. And failed miserably.

Sam leaned up, supporting his head on the palm of his hand, "Why can't I be serious?" he asked in all seriousness.

"B-because..." Dean said like it was obvious.

Sam sat up, searching for his sweat pants, face red with anger, "Almost forty years together and you still treat me like a bumbling fool. You know what? I don't even know why I stay with you Dean" he said as he jerkily wore his sweatpants and then thrust his feet into sneakers, grabbing for a shirt as he stormed out of the room. Dean watched him go with his mouth open.

"What did I say?" he asked the empty room.

He startled, leaping to his feet as he heard the drone of a car engine start up. He grabbed his robe, running down the stairs, trying to get to Sam before he drove off all upset.

"Sam!" he called to the blinking tail lights as Sam disappeared down the driveway.

He dashed back into the house, reaching for the nearest phone he could find. They usually kept a house cell on the kitchen table for Genevieve's emergency use or just to call for groceries. He snatched it up, dialing Sam's number off head. He put the phone to his ear listening to it ring.

From the den, the sultry guitar of Back in Black began to play and Dean knew that Sam had left his phone behind.

"Shit," he growled wondering if he should follow his brother or...but then he was alone in the house with the kids and Genevieve didn't really need to know any more about their daily drama. He sighed and resolved to do what he could do.

Which was to pace up and down by the doorway and wait.

* * *

 

Going to a bar would be too cliche for words.

Sam refused to be a cliche.

So he went to his office, resolving to get on with his quest to find an office manager. He needed to Denny Crane this bitch so he could only come in when he felt like it. He opened up the files of his senior staff, reading through them carefully so he could make a decision. He was _going_ to show his brother how serious he was about this. Then he wouldn't be able to laugh at him ever again.

Sam pushed his upset aside and got to work.

Two hours later, he was done. The decision was made. He had a new office manager.

He checked the clock.

2:15am.

He thought about Dean. Probably waiting up for him. Couldn't reach him, didn't know where he was.

Sam smiled bitterly.

Served him right the self-righteous, assuming son of a bitch.

Let him worry.

Sam stretched out on his plush leather couch and tried to get some sleep.


	7. Rapprochement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam comes home

"Where the _fuck_ have you been?"

Sam paused mid-stride at his brother's voice, surprised in spite of himself before continuing to push the front door closed. He made sure to do it quietly, and carefully. Just to show how not-angry he was as compared to his fuming brother, literally breathing fire behind him.

He turned slowly to face Dean his face carefully blank.

"Sam! I'm talking to you" Dean growled.

Sam looked around as elaborately as he could, "Funny, and here I thought you might be speaking to any one of the three thousand people in this ro-"

Dean took a step toward him hand raised, face like thunder and Sam stopped talking abruptly looking surprised, "Dean!" he yelled raising his own hand to cover his face.

Dean blanched, dropping his hand as he whirled around taking the stairs two at a time and disappearing onto the second floor.

Sam stared, watching him go.

"What the fu-" he murmured to himself before following his brother's footsteps more slowly. He needed a shower and his back was aching from sleeping on a sofa. He'd deal with Dean's saltiness later.

He stepped into their bedroom, eyes sweeping it automatically. Absently he noted that the bed looked unslept in. He walked past it and into the bathroom, listening for Dean the whole time. He could not hear him anywhere nearby so he took his clothes off and stepped in the shower, leaving the door open in case Dean wanted to...I don't know, join him or beat him up or whatever.

He heard voices in the corridor as he showered, Dean's deep baritone and the twins' piping voices, talking fast and animatedly. He felt a pang in his chest, missing them even if they were just on the other side of the wall. He hurried his shower, grabbed a robe and tied it on as he slipped into Dean's fur slides going in search of his family.

"Jazz? Jup?" he called as he descended the stairs.

"Papi!" twin voices screamed as a mini stampede of tiny feet met him in the middle of the stairway. He scooped them both up with a laugh, carrying them on his shoulders like pieces of lumber. He continued down the stairs as his kids shouted about god knew what in his ear. His face glowed with a helpless smile. Two years ago, he probably couldn't have gotten rid of his twins fast enough - passing them off to Gen or Dean as soon as he could - but he'd learned to appreciate the blessings in his life.

He looked up to see Dean watching him from the doorway of the dining room. His eyes were hooded. Whatever anger had moved him earlier was banked. No doubt they would have it out sooner or later but for now...

"Good morning" Sam said quietly.

Dean nodded his head and then disappeared into the dining hall.

"Good morning to  you too Sam. How are you?" Sam murmured to himself.

"Papi put us down!" Jupiter yelled and Sam  quickly put them on their feet before they blew his ear drums.

They ran to the table where Dean was laying out bowls of fruit. Sam followed more slowly, watching his brother closely.

"I was at the office. Identified a new office manager." he said.

"Oh? Was it so urgent you had no time to pick up a phone and tell me where you were?"

Sam shrugged, "I'm sorry. It was childish of me to let you worry. I don't know what I was thinking."

Dean looked up at him in surprise, like he hadn't been expecting an apology from him. Sam suppressed a smirk, he could still blind side Dean if he wanted to. Keep 'em guessing right?

"Yeah well...don't do that again" Dean said grumpily.

Sam  walked up to Dean, placing a hand on his shoulder, making sure to broadcast his intentions so that Dean could stop him if he wanted to. He leaned in and placed a kiss on Dean's cheek, "Forgive me?" he whispered into his skin.

Dean turned to him, "Only if you forgive me for whatever I did to make you so mad." he said in the same tone.

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, "You gotta take me more seriously man. When it comes to family matters. I been trying to show how all in I am about this family but you just laugh at me."

Dean snaked his arms around Sam's waist pulling him close, "Habit I guess. I'm so used to you doing the bare minimum. A few months of all-in parenting can't trump six years of that. You gotta give me time to get used to this New Sam."

Sam smiled, touching his forehead to Dean's, "New Sam? really?"

"Woke Sam?" Dean teased.

Sam smacked him on the head since it was the only place he could reach without letting his brother go, "Anyway, I was serious about everything I said so just...think about it huh?"

Dean reached his head forward to connect his mouth with Sam's, "Sure baby boy." he whispered.

"Daddy! Papi! Come eat!" their kids yelled and Sam and Dean broke apart. Sam looked over at the kids.

"Do they have inside voices?" he asked Dean.

His brother snorted, "Those _are_ their inside voices Sammy. Welcome to parenthood."

 


	8. What If...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean thinks thoughts.

Dean stared up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Sam was out like a light beside him; sated, satisfied and fucked out. Dean turned his head, watching his brother sleep.

He used to be able to read Sam's mind. When he was all raw emotion and knee jerk reactions. Dean could have predicted what Sam would do before he did it. But then he grew up, got some hard knocks.

Dean huffed a laugh.

Hard knocks indeed.

More like mountains slamming down on his head but who was keeping score right?

But now...now his brother could hide from him. He could lie convincingly. He could hulk out for no discernible reason...

But now...now his brother could curl up all soft and hurt over the _most trivial shit ever,_ he was _unapologetically_ needy, not even bothering to hide it behind a mask of self-righteousness.

It caught Dean wrong footed too often.

He had not adjusted to this new Sam.

Didn't know what to do with a Sam who didn't hide how he felt behind snark and superiority.

Didn't know what to do with a Sam who wanted to be a contributing husband, brother and parent.

 _They had a system_!

Dean did all the heavy lifting and Sam...well, Sam let him.

And  he got it. Fuck knew he got it. This whole paradigm shift thing Sam was trying; but he didn't trust it. He didn't think it would last. He was indulging his brother in his first foray into guilt-driven behavior. He was riding it out until Sam got it out of his system and shit went back to the normal, lying, back stabbing, blind siding life they'd been living.

Now Sam wanted to have a baby.

He wanted to retire from lawyerin' and...do what? Be a house husband? Be a hunter? Dean didn't _understand._

What would happen to this theoretical new kid when Sam decided he was done with the domesticated thing? Were they really ready to bring _another_ human being into this mess? Dean already lived in daily fear for the two they already had.

Dean shook his head, his hand spasming slightly and causing Sam to shift restlessly since he was lying on it. Dean turned to look at his peacefully sleeping face.

And sighed.


	9. What If...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam thinks thinky thoughts

Sam couldn't sleep.

Dean was thinking _so loud_.

He wanted to turn around, get a look at his brother's face, maybe try to gauge what had got him so sleepless.

 _'Did he not want to have a child?'_ Sam's brow furrowed with worry as he thought it.

Surely not.

Dean _loved_ the kids.

Dean loved Sam.

 _'Didn't he?'_ Sam's whole body flinched at the thought that maybe Dean didn't love him anymore. He turned it smoothly into a stirring of limbs and shifting about, pretending to be deep asleep.

He heard Dean sigh and tensed.

_'What the fuck was he thinking about!?!'_

Sam could feel his teeth elongating with all the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He was not going to be able to pretend for much longer. 

Did he even want to?

What was Dean thinking?

Why was he thinking it?

He wasn't thinking about breaking them up surely.

And why was he so resistant to having a baby anyway?

"Sam?"

Sam stretched trying to look like he was waking up slowly.

"Don't even Sam. I know you're awake."

Sam turned around and faced Dean.

"Why don't you want to have another baby with me?"


	10. Marriage is not for the faint of heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wedded bliss.

Dean got out of bed and went to check on the kids.

It was a dick move.

It was a cowardly move.

But he needed _time._

He wasn't Sam. He couldn't find the right words for things. So now he had two choices. Hurt Sam's feelings or run.

He chose to run.

Jasmine and Jupiter were sleeping like the little angels they weren't. When they were asleep like this it was impossible to imagine what evil little demons they really were. 

Not demons.

Dean had met demons.

They had nowhere near the head for planning, strategy, and destruction that his kids did.

His kids were on a level of their own.

Dean was so proud of them.

He thought ruefully about what his father would have thought of them.

Indisciplined? Definitely.

Spoiled? Maybe.

Falling short of their potential? ...Nah. Even dad would have to acknowledge that their kids exceeded all expectations.

Dean was just happy that they were healthy, well-cared for....never had to go hungry or worry about anything more serious than what time they had to go to bed.

"Daddy?" Jasmine whispered and Dean startled.

"What princess?" he whispered back stepping into the room and coming to a squat by his daughter's bed.

"What's wrong?"  Jasmine asked him and he reared back in surprise.

"Nothing darling. What makes you think anything is wrong?"

"You're standing in our door staring at us." she said giving him that 'bitch please' look.

"What? I can't look at my own kids? Is it a crime now?"

Jasmine shrugged a shoulder, "Maybe." she said.

"Haaa!" Dean said pretending to bite at Jasmine's shoulder as he tickled her till she was a mess of giggles.

"Shouldn't you be letting her sleep?" a stern voice from the doorway cut into their silliness. They both froze, turning to face Sam.

"Papi...daddy was just..."

"Daddy should know better than to wake you up in the middle of the night." Sam snapped.

Dean raised an eyebrow. Sam being mad at him was one thing. But growling at Jazz? 

"Papi's right," he said slowly watching Sam, "I shouldn't have been playing with you at this time. Do you want some water before you go back to sleep?"

Jasmine was looking at him with great disappointment. Like he'd gone over to the dark side. But he needed to keep the peace, tonight, that was his job.

"No. I don't want water."

"Okay then," Dean said kissing her forehead, "Night Jazz. Thanks for cheering me up."

She just gave him a look before diving under her covers in a huff.

"Night Jazz," Sam called and then moved away from the doorway. Dean followed him because why not?

He scratched his head as he came to a stop a few feet from Sam who was standing outside the door of their room, waiting for him.

"Hey Sam, let's go to bed. Table this discussion for the morning?"

Sam sneered, "And then what? You sneak off before I wake up?"

Dean pursed his lips, "Okay, I'll give you that one. But no more okay? Save the snark for your office or whatever. Leave _the kids_ and me out of it."

Sam gave him a bitch face for the ages. Dean was expecting him to explode but he just turned around and stepped in their room. Dean made to follow him but then he found the door slammed in his face. he was lucky not to lose his toes.

"Fuck," he said. Then shuffled off to find a couch to sleep on.


	11. Serial Killer Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The talk is had.

Dean startled awake, hand immediately snaking under his pillow to close on his gun. There was a presence looming over him, he could feel it. He wondered how they'd got past the alarm system, the wards, and the booby traps.

He turned around, sitting up, gun up so fast no human eye would be able to track it.

Sam moved his head out of the way just in time thus avoiding a nasty bruise to his cheek.

"Sam! What the hell?"

"Sorry," Sam said not sounding it even a little bit.

"I could have killed you!" Dean growled.

Sam had the temerity to snort, "Yeah sure you would have."

Dean placed the gun carefully on the table.

"Why are you sleeping with a gun anyway? What if I was one of the kids?"

Dean narrowed his eyes, "Really? Are you really trying to give me a lecture on the safety of our kids? You?"

Sam had the grace to look abashed, "I'm just sayin' it isn't necessary."

Dean sighed eyes closing, "Okay yeah maybe you're right. I'm sorry. It's just been...crazy these last few days y'know?"

"No. I really don't. You mean with the baby talk or what?"

Dean gave him a strange look, "Haven't you been watching the news?"

Sam's brow furrowed as he regarded Dean with puzzlement, "The news? What, why would I...?"

"There's a serial killer on the loose."

Sam continued to look like he had no clue what Dean was talking about.

"Are you kidding? There've been alerts, warnings about staying indoors. This is news to you?"

"I mean...yeah. Okay, serial killer on the loose. Noted. But what does that have to do with anything again?"

"Well, what with these Men of Letters guys looking for this weapon...I mean, what if it's a supernatural thing?"

"So what if it is?" Sam said.

"So we don't know this new monster. I'm guessing not many people do."

"...Okaaay."

"So we should probably be more vigilant."

"Mmm."

Dean sighed, "Okay and maybe it was something else to focus on apart from this shit storm" he continued pointing to the space between him and Sam.

Sam just continued to look at him, eyebrow raised.

"I've...I'm not really sure we're ready for another child Sam. I just don't think that we're ready for that kind of stress."

Sam's eyes dropped, "Oh." he said.

"Not right now Sam. Please?"

Sam nodded his head slowly.

"You agree?"

Sam swallowed, "I just...I guess I understand. You don't trust me yet. I get it."

"Sam..." Dean said with a tired sigh.

"What I gotta do Dean? I _died_ for you. Literally."

"You did. And never do that again. I'm serious. I can't live without you and the kids can't live without both of us. So don't. But that doesn't mean that in the six months since you _died,_ that we're anywhere near ready to have another child. What's the sudden urgency?"

Sam shrugged sulkily.

"Yeah see? That's one reason why we're not ready."

Sam continued to study his feet while pouting.

"But I'm not saying never. Just not right now."

"Don't placate me, Dean," Sam said without lifting his head.

Dean sighed, "Okay well, I'm gonna go...take a shower. Is that okay? Am I allowed in my room again."

Sam said nothing.

So Dean stood slowly and walked off.


	12. Decisions Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finds a way forward.

Dean was _absolutely not_ hiding in his office.

He was a bad ass hunter with credentials up to here. He did not need to hide from _anyone_. Certainly _not_ his little brother.

And if he chose to take the British guy up on his offer of a drink after work, that was entirely his business. He was curious.

About the case.

And why the Brits couldn't just take care of it themselves.

Clearly, this Magnus guy was a bad ass motherfucker.

He probably needed another bad ass motherfucker to find him.

Like Dean.

The fact that the case would take him out on the road for a few weeks had absolutely nothing to do with it.

"It's just me though. Not me and Sam" he told Ketch.

Ketch shrugged, "Between you and me, I feel quite capable of bringing him in on my own. But the powers that be; they have their own ideas. So it's no skin off my nose if you want to leave the 'ol ball and chain behind."

Dean narrowed his eyes at him. 

Ketch lifted his palms in surrender, "No offense meant, I do assure you. Just a figure of speech." 

"It's not that I want to leave him behind. It's just that we have kids and uh, we made a pact not to both be away from 'em at the same time." 

"Of course," Ketch said agreeably, "Very wise. So when do we leave?"

Dean sighed. He soo wanted to say right now. But...

He was a man with a family.

He couldn't just take off on them.

"First thing in the morning." he said.

Ketch nodded once, "Very good sir. I will see you at 0600hours? We need to get a move on. Every minute counts."

"Yeah. I know. 0600 hours it is." Dean said standing up. He turned and walked out of the bar bracing himself for the talk he would need to have with Sam. 

He was _not_ looking forward to it.


	13. Talk that Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets home.

Dean closed the door softly behind him as he entered the house. He was just a little bit drunker than he wanted to be. the kind of drunk where his mouth might run away with him given the chance. So he just wanted to maybe get to his couch and go to sleep before he had to talk to anyone. 

Especially Sam.

"Good to see you," Sam's voice said in the dark before a lamp was switched on. It was all so unnecessarily melodramatic and Dean wasn't startled. Not. at. all. 

Not. at. all. 

"Hey Sam," he said then cleared his throat, willing his voice to return to its lower register and not this embarrassing soprano it seemed to be trying out.

"Where you been?" Sam asked in a pleasant tone. The sort of tone that usually preceded murder and mayhem.

Dean smacked his lips together and swallowed, "Out." he said snapping his teeth on the t unintentionally, maybe sounding more agitated than he meant to.

"Yeah, I got that. I just wanted to know where exactly you were. Because I called your office and they said you left hours ago. Hours. As far as I know, it doesn't take hours to get home."

Dean laughed. Yeah, he knew it was stupid but he couldn't help himself. Furthermore, he decided he might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb, "You know what you sound like right now?" he said, still grinning.

Sam's eyes were already narrow before, now they were snake-like slits, "Let me guess" he said still in that pleasant tone, "I sound like a nagging housewife. No. Wait. A shrew? Or are we just gonna go all high school and say that I sound like a girl?"

Sam might have growled that last part. He most definitely did not sound like a girl.

Dean opened his mouth to see if he could fit his other foot in it but then changed his mind and snapped it closed. He thought about his situation for a while as Sam sat patiently waiting to see what he would do.

"I'm sorry." he said.

Sam's eyebrow went up.

"I'm sorry about worrying you-"

"Oh, I wasn't worried-"

"About bein' an asshole..." Dean waited to see if Sam would interrupt that but no, "and also childish and stupid" he added just as icing on the cake.

"So are you ready to stop now?"

"Yes," Dean said folding his hands in front of his body contritely and also protecting his balls.

"Good. Sit down. Let's talk."

Dean went meekly to the chair opposite Sam's and sat.

"So. Dean. We've been discussing having another baby for a while now and you've seemed rather opposed. Now I know how much you love-"

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"No. _We_ have not been discussing having children. _You_ have."

"Excuse me, _what?"_

 _"You're_ the one that suddenly decided you wanted more kids. Like...out of the blue. You went from absentee father to Suzie homemaker. I can't keep up. It's confusing and I don't think we should be bringing more kids into this mess."

Sam flinched, "Huh...tell me how you _really_ feel."

"I'm sorry. I'm drunk and...you shouldn't have asked me. You shoulda just left it alone Sam. I'm going to bed." he stood up and walked to the door and then paused, "I'm gonna go find this Magnus guy in the morning. I'll probably be gone before you wake up so...goodnight."

Sam said nothing.

 


	14. Goodbyes are too hard to say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and then what happened?

Sam startled awake the next morning to the roar of  Dean's truck's turbo engine. It was fading rapidly as he sped off to his case, taking to the road without a care for his family. Without so much as a goodbye to Sam. He sat up, catching sight in his peripheral vision of the folded white paper that he knew was a brusque note from Dean. 

Probably saying something like 'I'll see you soon' or some other nonsense like that.

Sam sighed, resting his head on the headboard and looking up at the patterned ceiling. He'd picked out the intricate abstract because he liked to occupy his mind some mornings just trying to make out patterns and hidden meanings in the whorls and curls of color and line. It occupied his time as he waited for it to be late enough to wake Dean up on the weekends. He was part bat, so he found it very hard to stay asleep past 4 am.

"Maybe I deserve this shit." he told the ceiling, "Maybe this is double secret probation for all the lies. Doesn't mean I gotta enjoy it." he shook his head to emphasize how much he wasn't enjoying it before reaching out to pick up the note.

_Heya Sam,_

_I'm sorry about last night._

_I didn't mean to be so harsh. It was the alcohol talking._

_All I was trying to say is that there's no rush. We can just...relax. Get to know each other again. Like lovers instead of brothers. Do this right._

_You get me?_

Sam let the unsigned note fall on the bed, "he says as he drives off to god knows where without so much as a kiss on the cheek" Sam said bitterly.

"Papi!" Jasmine yelled as she came barreling into the room and somersaulted onto the bed, "Daddy said that I should come and give you a big kiss and hug coz you waz sleepin' when he lef'" she said matching actions to words and wetting Sam's face with her sloppy kisses.

Suddenly Sam had a lump the size of texas in his throat. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear the moisture from his eyes.

"Thank you swee' pea" he said hugging Jasmine close. She threw her tiny hands round his neck and held on tight. 

Just then, his phone began to ring.

"Baby? Could you get Papi his phone please?" he asked Jasmine.

"Sure Papi" she said even as she scrambled off the bed to get the phone.

"Where's your brother?" Sam thought to ask. Where one was the other usually wasn't far behind.

"He's still washin' his face." Jasmine said with a slight undertone of contempt for her slow as fuck sibling. She grabbed the phone and handed it to Sam before leaping on the bed again and laying down in his lap.

"Hi." Sam said not having to look at caller ID to know who it was.

"Hey. Sorry I left without waking you."

"Yeah I was kinda bummed."

"I figured."

Dean sighed audibly and Sam felt like mimicking him.

"So..." Dean said after a small silence.

"You're hunting."

"Well, actually I'm gonna meet this guy Ketch and we're going to make a game plan."

"Okay."

"M'gonna call as soon as I know what's what."

"Yeah okay."

There was a loaded silence that sunk between them like lead, stealing the oxygen from Sam's lungs, preventing him from saying what he wanted to. On the other end of the line, he could hear Dean breathing hard as well.

"Okay bye." Dean said at last.

There was already a ring tone in his ears when Sam replied, "Bye Dean."

"Papi! Les' go eat." Jasmine declared as she jumped off the bed, pulling Sam with her. He smiled, albeit painfully.

"Yeah okay baby girl, let's go get your brother first though."

Jasmine wrinkled her nose but gave no demur.

Sam tried to put Dean out of his mind. They would be fine. They were always fine. 


	15. Strategy session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean meets the BMOL for the hunt.

Ketch was not alone. 

There was a blonde woman with him. Nose up in the air like she could smell something bad and was _desperate_ to get away from it. Her hair was severely knotted at the base of her neck, and she held herself as if she literally had a stick up her ass.

Dean was not a fan at first sight.

He lifted his eyebrows at Ketch as if to ask, "Who the fuck is this?"

Ketch gestured toward her, "Dean Winchester, I'd like you to meet Lady Toni Bevell, of the British men of letters. The powers that be insist that she tag along with us. For accountability and what not."

Dean smirked, "What is she? Your office accountant?" he asked.

"I am standing right here," Lady Toni said, "You can address your comments to me."

Dean curtsied obnoxiously, "My apologies milady," he said in a fake British accent, "I shall try to do that in future."

If it was even possible, Lady Bevell's nose turned up even more.

"Well..." Ketch said, "Now that introductions are out of the way, can we get to why we're all here?"

"Sure." Dean said taking a seat, "Hit me."

"Cuthbert Sinclair also known as Alberto Magnus was a master of spells for the American chapter. He disappeared a few years ago and was presumed dead. But recently a few incidents have occurred that make us think that perhaps he's not as dead as everyone supposed."

"Wait, so you're saying this guy's a witch?" Dean asked with a grimace.

"Not in the traditional sense of the word. But he is familiar with a significant amount of magic and he has been using it in the most creative ways to create pockets of chaos and disruption in the world. He must be stopped."

"And just how do you intend to 'stop' him?"

Ketch just looked at him.

Dean was the first to look away, "I thought the men of letters were more of an observe and report type group rather than search and destroy" he said.

"Surely you have no objection to killing this man. He has caused destruction to humans on a significant scale" Lady Bevell declared.

"It's not so much an objection as...trying to figure you people out."

"There's nothing to figure out. We go in, we subdue the fellow and then we kill him" Ketch said, "Case closed and you go back to your dysfunctional family."

Dean narrowed his eyes at Ketch, lips pursing in disapproval.

"Fine," he said abruptly, "So where is this guy?"

"The last thing we heard was that he was in search of the Father of Murder." Lady Bevel said.

"And how was that working out for him?" Dean asked sitting on the couch and grabbing his beer.

"Well last we heard, the Father of Murder was a mini killing spree himself so I'm guessing he wasn't too hard to find."

"But did Cuthbert find him?"

"that's what we need to find out," Ketch said.

"Bonus question, about the Father of Murder...by that you mean...?"

"Cain," Lady Bevel said.

"As in...Cain and Abel?"

"Yes," Ketch said.

"Okay," Dean said and took a swig of his drink.


	16. The Devil Made Him Do It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni Bevel makes herself at home where she really shouldn't. Dean has regrets.

Dean startled awake early the next morning, hand under his pillow, already folded over his gun. He blinked a few times, reorienting himself in time and space, trying to shake off the dream he’d been having.

Sam had been in it. Except it wasn’t Sam. It was some monster version of him with bat wings and wolf teeth, yellow eyes and fur.

“You’re gonna give me a baby!” that Sam had said holding Dean down with his paws, teeth snapping at Dean’s shirt, trying to tear it off.

“No Sam. Not like this. Please,” Dean had pleaded with the Chimera that was his brother but not. That Sam just ignored him, tearing off his jeans and sitting on his dick. The shock of suddenly being enveloped in all that furry higher-than-human-temperature warmth had Dean almost coming at once. The Chimera held him down, lifting and dropping himself on Dean’s dick, wolf mouth open, as drool dribbled out the corner. The thing growled low in its throat every time it impaled itself on Dean’s dick, it’s inner muscles cleaving tight to every inch of Dean’s cock, almost seeming to suck at it, massage at it. It drove Dean wild with lust and he couldn’t help arching upward at every thrust even as he repeated, “No no no no no no no,” with every thrust of his hips.

Suddenly his brother froze, body trembling as he threw his head back. Muscles spasming around Dean’s erection as Sam’s dick spewed a thin, transparent liquid onto Dean’s abs. His own body reacted as if shot, body convulsing as he shot load after load into the Chimera’s…hole.

That was when he woke up, body in fight or flight mode, fully expecting to have shot his load into his boxers. Instead, he was harder than concrete, sweating and scared.

Ready to kill something or fuck it into oblivion.

He flopped back down on the bed, breathing hard, releasing his hold on his gun as he stared bleakly up at the ceiling.

“Fuck,” he whispered, glad at least that he had his own room.

There was a knock at the door and it opened without further ado, Toni walking in to face the barrel of Dean’s gun pointed straight at her head. She lifted her hands in faux supplication even as she smirked in amusement.

“It’s just me,” she said, “Stand down.”

Dean dropped the gun on his duvet cover, eyes narrowed at her, “How did you get in here?”

She lifted her hand where a key card rested, “master key card,” she said.

He opened his mouth to ask how and _why_ she’d obtained that but then noticed where her eyes were looking. He’d dropped the gun between his legs which meant the duvet was weighed down and therefore the outline of his rock hard dick was lovingly on display. He moved the gun quickly, lifting his leg up to hide his erection.

“Hmm, that’s quite the morning wood you have there,” she said her eyes dark, pupils blown wide. Dean was familiar with the look of lust. He just didn’t have time for it right now. Could a guy not have five minutes to deal with his wet dreams?

“Want me to take care of that for you?” she asked.

“No,” Dean replied but then she was already sitting on the side of his bed hand outstretched to push down his duvet.

“Hey! I said n-” Dean began to say but her hand was already questing underneath his boxers, taking hold of his dick, and squeezing.

Dean was so aroused.

He was.

His erection was a throbbing painful mess, and he was so turned on he could hardly see straight. Did it really matter if it was his own hand or Toni’s that was squeezing his prominent throbbing vein? That it was her hand not his that was flicking at the head of his dick? There was no way his mouth could do what hers was doing to him right now, _nobody_ was that flexible. He closed his eyes, breath coming in short bursts as the wet heat of her mouth worked in tandem with her talented hands.

“You uh…do this…sort…of…thing…often?” he asked between breaths.

She said nothing just slurped at him. Then she was sitting up and lifting up her skirt. She wasn’t wearing any underwear.

Dean gasped, mouth open to ask what the fuck was happening but then she was straddling him and it was just like the dream. Except for how she wasn’t a chimera. Or Sam.

“No.” he said, just like in the dream but his hips didn’t care about whose hot, wet hole was currently housing his dick. It wanted to thrust upward.

Hard.

Fast.

Again. And again. And again.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Dean cried as he pumped into her, blowing his load pretty damn fast. He might have been embarrassed if this whole thing had been his choice.

Toni continued to caress his dick with her vagina long after he was through coming. It felt so good. He needed it to stop.

No.

He needed to go back in time and push Toni away the minute she put her hand on his dick.

“Uuhh,” she groaned as her muscles tightened around him again and she gave a few ladylike tremors, cheeks rosy with her own orgasm. Then she rose, very delicately, lowered her skirt and got off the bed.

“We have a briefing in an hour. Cain has been sighted,” she said as she sauntered to the door. She closed it behind her with nary a backward glance and Dean flopped back on the bed, eyes closed.

“Fuck,” he said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you tumblr? follow me here: http://bit.ly/emptycanvastumblr


	17. Deal Wit It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wasn't used to being in this situation. He doesn't know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate when authors disappear after a cliffhanger. Sorry for doing that to you. Have an update. Life came at me fast.

Dean fingered his phone during the briefing, wondering if he should call Sam or not. Should he confess what happened? What would that mean for their relationship? Was he even allowed to worry about that? They seemed to go back and forth so much these days. Solving one problem only for another to crop up.

Maybe the universe was trying to tell them something.

That they were better off apart.

No.

That didn't feel right.

That felt wrong as fuck.

But so did lying to Sam.

So what was he going to do?1?

"...Dean?"

He looked up, hearing his name and found both Ketch and Toni staring at him.

"Huh?" he said not even trying to pretend he had a clue what was going on.

"Are you still with us? Would you like a minute?"

"Um no, I'm great. Please, continue."

Ketch sighed, throwing him a skeptical glance, "Well, the target has been sighted in Minnesota which dovetails with Cain's last known location. I'm thinking we could kill two birds with one stone and take them both out."

"Oh, so you...know how to kill Cain?"

Ketch gave him a look, "Yes, as a matter of fact, we do."

Dean leaned forward, interested in the conversation at last, "Oh yeah? How?"

"That is classified."

Dean barked with laughter, "Classified?" he scorned, lifting his legs onto the table and crossing them at the ankle even as he crossed his arms, "Who do you think you are? M15?"

Ketch turned away, "All you have to know is that we have a weapon, that kills anything."

Dean's eyes narrowed, he pursed his lips thoughtfully as he stared at Ketch, "You have the Colt," he said and it was not a question. Ketch actually looked startled.

"You know about that?"

Dean just snorted.

"There are five things in this world it can't kill. You sure Cain isn't one of them?"

Ketch just lifted an eyebrow but didn't answer.

The meeting was done, they were meant to head out, and Dean decided he needed to call Sam. Needed to hear his voice. He would decide what to do when he was on the phone. That was his usual plan anyway; play it by the ear.

He hit one on speed dial and put the phone to his ear, heart rabbiting away literally like a scared rabbit.

"Hey. I wasn't expecting to hear from you so soon. Job already over?"

"Nah but it got a little more complicated."

" _How_ complicated?"

"Complicated enough I could use you at my back..." he said and then grimaced at the words that had just come out of his mouth.

'What are you saying Dean!?!'

"What about the kids Dean?"

Dean hesitated, wanting to grab at the excuse to walk back what he'd said. But he also recognized the truth of his words. He didn't trust Ketch. He most definitely did not trust Toni. He needed someone he could trust in his corner. Plus...there was just something in his chest that needed Sam to be by his side. He'd cheated, admittedly not on purpose, and he needed</em> to do something to erase that. To make things right. He couldn't do that with Sam three hundred miles away.

"Genevieve can watch them right?"

"Yeah...I guess." Sam sounded puzzled rather than suspicious or resistant so that was a win. Kind of.

"So...will I see you soon?" he couldn't keep the hope out of his voice.

"Yeah, Dean. Can't wait."

The warmth, the happiness he could hear in Sam's voice almost had him confessing what he'd done.&nbsp

But no.

If he was gonna do that, he wanted to do it face to face.

"Bye Sam."

"Love you Dean."

"Love you too."


	18. This is My Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean comes clean.

Dean opened his front door to go to breakfast the next morning to find Sam with his hand raised as if to knock.

"Dude!" he cried, hand over his heart, which was going a mile a minute, "You scared me."

"Sorry," Sam said not looking sorry at all. He stepped into Dean's space, fitting his lips to Dean's, hand on the back of Dean's head, holding him still so he could kiss the life out of him.

Dean held still for him, letting Sam plunder his mouth, clean his tonsils right up...but he didn't reciprocate. He _couldn't._ Having Sam here, with him, just brought home to him the gravity of his betrayal. He felt lower than the scum on the scum in the pond. A piece of shit. A no good, low down dirty shameful son of a bitch. He wasn't worthy to be the dirt underneath Sam's shoes.

He pulled away with a jerk, surprising his brother.

"Dean...?" Sam looked affronted but not, thank God, suspicious.

"I...just wanna look at you," Dean said and he couldn't stop the tremble in his voice.

Sam smirked, looking smug, "Oh yeah? You missed me that much?"

Dean felt something take hold of his heart and _squeeze_. He could not _breathe._

"I always miss you, Sammy. Don't you know that by now?" Dean couldn't help how sincere he sounded. He was on the verge of losing everything and he had no energy left in him for pretense. Sam had stopped smiling. He pursed his lips, eyes sobering, turning from hazel to green like they did when he got intense, his brow furrowed with worry.

He took Dean by the shoulders and pushed him back into the room, slamming the door behind him with his foot.

"What happened?" he asked, eyes noting every microexpression on Dean's face.

Dean's face fell, his lip trembled as he let the fear show. Sam leaped forward, clutching at him.

"Dean! What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it." Sam pleaded, kneading at Dean's shoulders.

"You can't fix it, "Dean whispered, despair shining from his eyes as he watched Sam bleakly, "You _can't_."

"Try me," Sam practically growled, "Is it physical? Did somebody do something to you?"

Dean lowered his eyes, nodding his head like it pained him to do so, "Yes," he said, practically with no sound.

Sam rushed forward began running his hands up and down Dean as if looking for a wound, "Where? Tell me."

Dean reached up slowly, as if he was in pain, and clutched Sam's hands. He lifted his head, looking him in the eye, "It happened so fast," he said, "I...wasn't expecting..."

Sam nodded trying to free his hands from Dean's death grip, "Uh huh? Just tell me where? I'll fix it."

"I didn't mean...to...Sam. You have to believe me." 

Dean's voice was so faint Sam could hardly hear what he was saying. It made him even more frantic.

"I believe you. I do Dean. Let me help," Sam said trying to jerk his hand away.

"She..." Dean said looking Sam in his eyes. Sam stilled, waiting.

"She just..."

"Who Dean? Who just?"

"I was sleeping, and then she was there. And then her hand was on my dick."

Sam jerked back and this time Dean let him go.

"She was, she was stroking and then...I didn't...I didn't ask her to. I said no."

He lifted his eyes fearfully to find Sam staring at him, eyes shining blue with shock.

"I said no Sam. I did."

Sam took a deep breath, closing his eyes and then opening them, expression cold, "I see. So this...woman...she overpowered you? Was she a monster?"

Dean was silent.

"I see," Sam said and then he turned around, opened the door and left, closing it very quietly behind him.


	19. Shit Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean explains.  
> Sam complains.

Dean stood just where Sam left him, staring at the door. He felt like he was nailed to the floor unable to move. He felt weak, and dizzy, unsteady on his feet but he couldn't so much as flop dramatically to the ground in an epic collapse. It was like Sam had frozen him with his departure and the only way he could unfreeze was if Sam came back. If he didn't, Dean might just stand here until the end of eternity.

And yes, he was aware of how dramatic it sounded thank you very much.

The door slammed open and closed again and Sam was pushing him backward, hands fisting his shirt, face red, eyes wide. He slammed Dean into the wall, his left hand wrapped around Dean's neck, teeth bared.

"Tell me, _everything_ ," he growled.

"Sam relax-"

"Do _not_. tell me to relax!"

Dean lifted his hands in surrender, "Okay. I'm gonna tell you anything you want to know."

"I want to know everything."

"Yeah, I get that. So I was asleep. And she came i-"

"That's not the beginning. Who is she? How does she know you? Did you meet her in some bar? Flirt with her? Bring her back here?"

Sam punctuated each question by slamming Dean against the wall.

"No Sam. I wouldn't do that."

"Oh, _wouldn't_ you?"

"No, Sam. I wouldn't. I haven't flirted with anyone since we came to this world, Sam. Since _before_ we got together Sam."

Sam just expelled air hard through his nose like he wished he could breathe fire.

"Sam? Let's just sit down and talk. I will tell you everything you want to know."

Sam abruptly let him go and stepped back, "Fine. Talk."

Dean moved to the bed, rubbing absently at his neck. He cleared his throat and began to speak, telling Sam about the dream he'd had, waking up with a hard-on and Toni entering his room without knocking. He told Sam how she'd noticed his erection and offered to lend a hand.

"And you just let her?"

"I-It all happened so fast. I..."

"Y-you what, Dean?"

"There's no excuse for what happened okay? It just did."

"What _exactly_ was it that happened? Everything Dean. I want every act."

So Dean told him.

Sam was silent when Dean finished, Hands clasped on his lap, seemingly calm. The only things that gave him away were his glowing eyes and distended yellow claws.

"You can kill me now if you want."

Sam growled.

There was a loaded silence, filled only with Sam's breathing.

"I can't kill you. Unfortunately, I can't live without you. It's a quandary. This Toni person though, her I can kill."

Dean wanted to protest this plan. To say how counterproductive it could be. But if he did that, Sam would take it as him taking Toni's side, against his. He wasn't going to do that. He'd betrayed his brother enough. His husband. His love of this and every other life.

He couldn't let Sam kill Toni though and not just because they'd probably be hunted by these men of letters if he did. No, for _Sam's_ sake, Dean couldn't allow him to do this. Perhaps Sam wasn't serious about committing murder, but Dean knew him well enough to know he probably was. 

"She's not even worth all this." 

"She took what is mine. She must pay."

"Now you sound like a cartoon villain. Come on Sam, just let it go okay? We'll leave right now, never see these people again. Let's just go home to our kids."

"I thought you said we had a job to do."

"We do but..."

"Well then, let's do this job. And then I kill Toni."

"Please, Sam..."

There was a knock on the door and Ketch stuck his head in.

"Dean, we're reading to roll out, " he caught sight of Sam and jerked back in startlement, "Sam. How nice of you to join us."

Sam stood up, "Let's go then," he said.

 


	20. One day at a Time Sweet Jesus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam deals. Dean watches.

There was a strategy meeting before they hit the road. Sam was in the thick of it, going over every facet of the plan with Ketch and Toni, face impassive, intent on the map they were looking at. No one observing him would even guess that he'd been making plans to murder one of the people in the room not ten minutes before. 

He and Toni even joked about Cain being the 'father of murder.'

"Weird name for a kid," Sam said with a feral grin and Toni gave him a small smug smile like a cat that had swallowed the canary. Very likely she thought she was laughing _at_ him rather than _with_ him...while Sam was making sure she was off guard and unprepared for whenever he decided to slit her throat.

Dean sighed.

"Enough with the planning. can we get to the capturing or killing?" Dean asked standing up from where he'd been leaning on a table in the corner of the conference room.

"Yes, shall we?" Ketch agreed and Dean shot him a grateful glance. He stepped away from the table, slung his bag over his shoulder and headed for the door, Ketch on his heels. Toni and Sam finally finished nerding out over their documents and gathered their own bags. Dean thought ruefully that it had been _years_ since Sam had shown such interest in the lore. His murderous intentions were so well hidden that Dean might have thought he imagined them - if he didn't know Sam at all. There was still a glint deep in his eyes every time he looked at Toni that promised pain and retribution. On one hand, Dean was okay with that plan. On the other hand, he did not want to activate Sam's murderous, crazy psychopath side. That aspect of him had been dormant for some time. There was no need to wake it up.

Not now.

Maybe it _was_ time to think about getting Sam pregnant.

Morning sickness was sounding more and more like a viable distraction.

That was assuming Sam would let Dean anywhere near him. Just because he wasn't going to murder Dean didn't mean he wasn't planning to punish his ass. Dean knew there was a world of hurt in his future. He was okay with that. Hell, he deserved it. But now that their future was out of his hands, he was ready to do just about anything to ensure that they _had_ a future. 

He made a decision there and then. If they got through this, then it was gonna be just the two of them from now on. They were going back to living in each other's pockets. No separate offices, no solo hunts. Codependency all day, every day. That's what worked for them.

He opened the trunk of his car, threw his bag in and turned to see what was keeping Sam. He was right behind him, bag in hand. He threw it down next to Dean's not so much as glancing at him as he did it.

"Sam?"

"Not now Dean," Sam said walking toward the passenger side.

Dean sighed, walked to the driver's side and got in. He hesitated before turning the key, to look at his brother.

"Are we going to be alright?" he asked.

Sam turned to look at him, eyes glowing gold. Dean shivered, ghost of a dream of yellow eyes he once had flashing through his mind. Unlike those eyes, the overarching emotion in Sam's was hurt. Bone deep, agonizing, hurt.

Dean cringed inwardly.

"What do you want me to say, Dean?"

"I'm sorry."

Sam looked away, "I know you are. So am I."


	21. Delayed Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit ain't over.

It was thirty hours by road to Minnesota and the Men of Letters were all for flying. That would reduce their ETA to three hours, 29 minutes.

“I need my car,” Dean said, “How are you going to get weapons past security on a plane?”

Toni and Ketch exchanged glances with a smile, “We don’t travel commercial Winchesters. And we certainly don’t do anything so pedestrian as going through your security.”

“Well that’s great and all, but I still prefer going by car. Y’all can go on ahead, we’ll meet you there.”

Toni rolled her eyes, looking irritated. The fact that they were in a diner for breakfast was bad enough.

“We have all the weapons we need, there’s no need for your car. We could have a plane on standby in thirty minutes!” she hissed.

“You do that. We’re driving,” Dean said.

Sam leaned forward conspiratorially, smile shark-like in his pale face. He’d barely eaten a thing but that was normal Sam behavior.

“Dean doesn’t like flying,” he whispered theatrically to Toni.

“Dude!” Dean gave him a betrayed glance.

Sam shrugged as if there hadn’t been any choice in the matter, “According to my research, this Cain guy can teleport. Just because he was sighted in Minnesota doesn’t mean he’s still there. Does Magnus also have the ability to snap his fingers and be somewhere else?” he looked intently at Toni as if he really wanted to know the answer. Dean knew it was all bullshit. Part of some Sam manipulation. But since it looked like his brother had his back on this one, he’d sit back and see what happened.

“As far as we know, Magnus cannot teleport.”

“Good, so you guys should go ahead and fly; Dean and I will follow by road. If Magnus leaves the city before we get there, we can follow directly, try to cut him off. So we’ll be back up to ensure he doesn’t escape.”

“That’s a good idea,” Ketch said nodding. He actually looked impressed.

“Are you going to drive for thirty hours straight?”

“Of course not. That would be suicide. We’ll take turns and by tomorrow evening we should be there. Meanwhile, we need to identify a pattern. Who is Cain after? That way we can anticipate his movements rather than waiting until someone gets killed to react.”

“How would we find that out?” Toni asked.

“We look for the common thread,” Sam said, “Don’t worry. I’m already on it.”

Ketch inclined his head in agreement and Toni cast a dissatisfied glance between Sam and Dean.

“Fine. Come as fast as you can.” She said.

“We usually like to do the opposite but…” Sam fixed her with a naughty look, smirking for all he was worth. It took a moment for Toni to get it, then she – to Dean’s surprise – blushed bright red.

Dean grabbed Sam, pulling him up and out of the booth.

“We’d better get back on the road. Y’all will take care of the bill right?” he said as he pulled Sam toward the door.

“Relax Dean. Stop pulling me. What do you think I’m gonna do in a public place?”

“I don’t know, and I prefer not to find out. Let’s drive.”

∞

They had to stop for a few hours’ rest at a roadside no-tell motel. It wasn't their usual style, not anymore, but they were literally paying by the hour. Just long enough for the equivalent of a power nap.

“King or two queens?” the bored receptionist asked.

It brought back memories.

“Two queens please,” Sam said and Dean’s heart dropped. This wasn’t the sort of nostalgia he was after. He didn’t say a word though. Just followed Sam meekly to the room. He dropped his bag, flinging off his clothes and stepping into the bathroom naked. He left the door ajar, an invitation that wasn’t an invitation. The water was thankfully, piping hot and the pressure was excellent.

He waited in vain for Sam to join him though…

Why was he even surprised?

He got out of the shower, grabbing a towel and slinging it negligently around his waist as he emerged in a cloud of steam into the room. he stopped short just outside the bathroom door as he caught sight of Sam laying down on the bed.

Stark naked.

Stroking his junk thoughtfully.

Dean’s mouth was abruptly dry.

He usually didn’t notice Sam’s body. Not like this. Their attraction to each other wasn’t about a well-maintained body, long shapely legs or broad thirst inducing shoulders. It wasn’t about brown hair brushing against those shoulders in soft waves, or narrow kaleidoscope eyes that could look blank and unfeeling to strangers but were a veritable open book in Dean’s discerning eyes. It wasn’t about the big strong-looking hands that looked like they could crush a man with one blow. Not his long hard length jutting in all it’s purple glory, aroused and ready for Dean’s mouth or Dean’s hands or Dean’s ass.

That wasn’t what they were about.

Still, …it didn’t mean Dean didn’t notice how sexy his brother husband was.

“Uh…” he said.

“I wonder,” Sam said lazily, not even looking at Dean, “How would it be if I went out and got some girl, maybe a girl and a guy, and brought them back here? Maybe pounded into her as he pounded into me. Would that make us even?”

Dean stopped breathing.

“Or I could just fuck around with every Tom, Dick, and Harry who looked sideways at me. From town to town…or at home, with the neighbors. You know Mrs. Guo has the hots for me.”

“And her husband is a black belt,” Dean retorted hoarsely.

“So what? I bet claws would beat belts any day of the week.”

Dean sighed, “Sam…”

“Are you about to tell me not to be stupid? Tell me I’m acting out? Go all ‘big brother knows best’? _Because I wouldn’t advise it_.”

Sam finally looked at Dean, eyes narrowed to such slits they were almost closed.

Dean took a step towards Sam, “I learned long ago that telling you not to do something just makes you all the more determined to do it. So no, I’m not gonna tell you what to do Sam. If you wanna go out and fuck around on me if it’ll make you feel better…go ahead.”

Dean was right up to the bed now, looking Sam straight in the eye.

“Oh yeah? I think I’ll do that then. Go out and fuck my way through the nearest bar I can find.”

Dean inclined his head to the side, “I’d just like to remind you about how your revenge plots have gone in the past. You think you’re going to feel better but you just end up making things wo-”

Sam was on his feet so fast Dean didn’t even see him move.

“Really Dean? You’re going there?” Sam reached out and pushed Dean viciously back. He stumbled, tripping over his bag and landed on his ass, towel open, legs apart. Sam’s eyes traveled up his body from foot to spiked hair. He sneered, turning away.

“You’re pathetic. You’re a pathetic son of a bitch Dean. I don’t know what I even see in you.” He spat in contempt. He reached over to his bed and grabbed a Henley, pulling it on with savagery. He grabbed his jeans, inserting his legs roughly into them with jerky, violent movements.

“What are you doing Sam?” Dean asked as Sam thrust his feet into his boots.

Sam gave him a look, “I thought I just told you.”

Dean stared, not sure if his brother was serious. He lunged as Sam headed for the door and wrapped his arms around Sam’s legs.

“Dean,” Sam growled, trying to kick his brother away.

“No Sam, I won’t let you do this.”

“ _Let_ me?”

“Yeah Sam, _let_ you. An eye for an eye will only lead to both of us going blind.”

“Profound. Now leave me _the fuck_ alone!”

“We have a bad man to kill Sam. After that, we’re gonna go home and if you want to fuck around on me you can do it then. If you wanna beat me up. If you wanna leave me…I won’t try to stop you. Just please…not now.”

Sam was hyperventilating. His face was red and splotchy, and his eyes puffy as if he’d been crying.

“Sam?”

Dean stood up, holding on to Sam’s shoulders as he struggled to breathe, tears streaming unheeded from his eyes.

“Sam?”

“F-F-fuck you, Dean,” Sam said tearing Dean’s hands from his shoulders and stumbling out of the room.

“Sam!”

Dean stood in the middle of the room, stark naked as his brother escaped into the night.

 

 


	22. Trouble Comes in Threes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is upset. He has an encounter.

"Another one!" Sam almost threw his glass on the ground like some god from Asgard but stopped himself at the last moment. He doubted the bartender would appreciate that. More importantly, he doubted he'd get another draught if he started breaking glasses.

"Careful boy, don't you think you've had enough?"

Sam turned to eyeball the man who'd said it. Tall. Not as tall as him though - but who was? A very well groomed black and silver beard, long wavy hair, that rivaled Sam's in length and hair care. Good looking if you liked that sort of thing. Or you were, you know, interested in cheating on your significant other...

The acidic pain in his chest he'd been trying to get rid of was back in full glory and vengeance. Fuck Dean Winchester. Fuck him to hell and back and back to hell again!

"Hey, bartender?" he called, voice louder.

"Hold your horses, I'm coming," she said voice trillingly loud and cheerful. Sam wanted to bite her neck off for being so happy when he was so miserable. Dean hadn't come after him. He didn't care. Dean. didn't. care.

Sam upended his empty glass over his face, tongue out to catch the last drops of beer. The bartender slammed a new glass in front of him with a smile.

"There ya go," she said.

"Thanks," Sam bit out and grabbed the new glass.

"What's got you all twisted son?" Man with Goatee asked.

"None of your business."

He looked up as the Man stood up from his stool and moved, planting his ass on the stool right next to Sam's.

Sam sighed in frustration.

Why couldn't _anything_ go his way today?

"Tell your Uncle Cain all about it." the Man said and Sam froze.

Cain?

Weren't they hunting a Cain?

He whipped his head to the side, giving the man a full once over. He looked harmless enough, didn't look like he was about to kill anyone.  More importantly, he didn't look like he was about to kill Sam. 

"Cain?"

The man smiled, "I hear you've been looking for me."

Sam stared.

The man wheeled around in his seat to face him, "So, what can I do for you?"

"Umm, we're not actually looking for you. Just a guy who's following you."

"You mean the creepy lil guy trying to make deals with beings he knew nothing about?"

Sam shrugged. He'd seen the pictures and the description seemed accurate but it wasn't like he knew this Magnus guy.

"I think his name was Magnus or something."

"HIs assumed name you mean."

"Yeah."

"He's dead."

"Oh."

"I killed him."

"I kinda got that."

"So is that it? That's all you wanted?"

"What else is there?"

"Well, you're hunters aren't you? And I kill."

"Do you want us to kill you?"

"You can't."

"Kinda figured."

"So...now that I've taken complications out of the way, what will you do about...your situation?"

"My situation?"

"Your soulmate fornicated with the British woman."

"And you know this how?"

"And now she's pregnant with the baby you wanted to have."

The glass fell out of Sam's hand, bounced on the corner of the bar counter and fell to the ground, smashing to smithereens in a tinkling crash. Beer splashed his jeans and his boots, but Sam didn't feel it.

"I beg your pardon."

Cain tipped his head to the side, "I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news."

Then he disappeared.

 


	23. It's Over, for Real. No Takebacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has heard some bad news. He has to deal with it somehow.

“Are you alright?”

Perky bartender was fussing around him, picking up glass fragments and wiping at spilled beer. Sam lifted not a finger to help. He was still frozen in shock.

“Can I have a bottle of gin please?”

“What?” Perky had her eyebrows raised, looking at him in a censoring manner like she was his mother or something, “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

“Don’t you think that’s none of your business?”

Perky reared back like he’d said something unconscionably rude. Sam snorted, looking away, drumming his fingers on the counter. The bartender went back behind the counter, picking up a bottle of gin from the shelf.

“It’s your funeral,” she said as she deposited it in front of Sam, a tiny glass beside it. Sam picked up the bottle, unscrewed the cap and gulped down the fiery liquid.

It didn’t help.

Dean was still having a baby.

He was having a baby with someone other than Sam.

As much as he tried, he could not assimilate it.

It still sounded wrong.

Impossible.

Absurd.

Unlikely.

Inconceivable.

Improbable.

Preposterous.

Sam could go through every three syllable word he knew; he still could not make it go away.

_Dean was having a baby!_

Dean had cheated on him and now he was having a baby.

Sam took another gulp of gin.

And another one.

His vision was beginning to blur and his reflexes were sloppy. The burning pain in his chest didn’t budge though. Not. Even. A. little. Bit.

He upended the bottle, gulping down as much as he could. Wanting to black all the way out.

“Come on Sam. That’s enough.”

Great. Now he was hallucinating.

“G’way Dean. Lemme be,” he slurred.

“I can’t do that Sam. Sorry. C’mon, lemme take you home.”

Sam swung in his seat, fist clenched and lashed out at the hallucination. He was surprised when his hand connected with actual flesh. Dean took a half-step back, head whipping to the side and then back again. He didn’t look like he’d felt even a smidgen of pain and that made Sam madder than anything that had gone before.

“You’re a bastard, you know that Dean? You like to act like you’re some self-righteous jerk who’s cornered the market in knowing what the right thing to do is. But you’re not. You’re just a jerk who goes through life, inflicting damage on people. Hurting them. And telling yourself it’s for the greater good…” Sam spat at him, “What’s the greater good now Dean? You just broke up your family Dean. Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted?”

“You know it’s not Sam.” Dean looked so sad and defeated that it made Sam even angrier.

“She’s having your baby Dean. Did you know that?”

Dean’s eyes widened with shock and Sam felt a vicious little spurt of gladness to see it.

“Yeah. She’s having your baby. Congratulations. You’re gonna be a father. Again.”

Dean looked away, fingers loosening on Sam’s shirt.

Sam stood up, swaying from side to side, trying to get some balance. Dean was shaking his head like he was denying the information Sam had just given him.

“It’s a pity though, I was really looking forward to killing her,” he said as he stumbled away from his brother.

“Sam,” Dean said leaping after him.

“Leave me alone Dean! Don’t you ever come near me ever again.” Sam said pointing a finger at Dean before he stumbled out the bar. He made his way by instinct rather than intent toward his room. He could hear Dean behind him, following him, probably making sure he got back safe.

He _hated_ it.

Hated that he needed his brother. That his brother would put his need to take care of Sam above Sam’s need to be away from him. Hated that he knew his brother cared for him above all else. Hated it because it made all this a thousand times worse.

How could Dean break them like this?

He stumbled into the room, slamming the door behind him and locking it for good measure. He’d get some sleep, then get on a plane and go home. He and Dean were over.

 


	24. Turning Tables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tries some of Sam's tactics, on Sam with mixed results.

Dean had his wallet on him which made it easy to book a second room. He didn’t even try to knock on their door to see if Sam would let him in. Just by the set of his shoulders as he walked, he could tell that Sam was done with him. Maybe for now. Maybe forever.

No.

Not forever.

That wasn’t going to happen.

They had kids together, which meant they were bound for life.

Toni was pregnant.

_Toni was pregnant?!?_

Dean was all too familiar with the process of procreation, how it worked. It didn’t stop him from trying to tear out his hair all the while wailing, “How? How? _How_?”

Maybe Sam was mistaken. How could he even know? Dean had come in to the bar just as Sam dropped his glass to the floor. He’d wanted to go over to him right away but knew that would just upset him further. So he’d lurked like some goddamn stalker in the corner, just watching until he couldn’t watch anymore. He couldn’t stand how much pain his brother was in. He would have done anything to take it away.

But all he could do was make sure Sam didn’t poison himself. Werewolf healing or no, downing a bottle of gin in a few gulps seemed like a recipe for irreversible liver damage and alcohol poisoning, _at the very least_.

So he’d gone over, just wanting to get his brother back to the hotel.

And Sam had dropped that bomb on him.

His heart was pounding so hard he could feel it in his ears. His phone beeped and he reached for it, hoping Sam was asking where he was.

**Ketch 12:58am:**

**Where are you?**

Right question. Wrong asker.

Fuck.

He had almost forgotten they were on a case. He picked up his phone and clicked speed dial one.

“Come on Sam, pick up.”

_“This is Sam Winchester. I’m not able to come to the phone. If this is urgent, call Dean. If not, leave a message.”_

Dean sighed and hung up. He went over to messages and wrote a note instead.

**Sam, we still have a hunt. Meet me in the parking lot in an hour or I break down your door.**

He wasn’t really expecting an answer so he almost jumped out of his skin when he got one.

**There’s no hunt. Cain killed Magnus. It’s over Dean. Everything’s OVER.**

Dean stared at the text feeling anger pulse against his temple in throbbing, aching, force. Sam could be such a baby sometimes.

“It’s over? Oh no Sam. It isn’t over until I say it is.” He growled, throwing his phone across the room.

He needed to talk to Toni; find out if what Sam was true. But his priority right now was to get Sam to speak to him. He dug in his duffle for his notepad and a pen and began to write.

When he was done, he walked out the room, slowly toward Sam’s. It was a beautiful night, stars all out in the inky sky seemingly stretching toward infinity. He wondered if any angels were watching them here. Was it the same sky as the one in their world? He’d never wondered before, and he knew he was only wondering now to distract himself. He slipped the note under Sam’s door and then went back to his room.

Sam knew where to find him if he had an answer.

∞

Sam felt the swish of the paper being passed under the door. He wished he’d been able to black out but all he felt was sick, nauseous and dizzy. He was wide awake and hurting. He glanced at the door, werewolf eyes picking out the pale square lying just inside the door. He resisted for as long as he could before sighing and getting up to pick it up.

He flicked on the lamp, and speed read the note.

 

<[](https://imgbb.com/)  
[](https://imgbb.com/)>

Then he read it again.

Before he knew it, he was tearing the note into as many pieces as he could, letting out a literal roar of rage.

“Guilt trip? He dares to guilt trip _me_?” he growled so loud he could feel something in his throat tear. Then he was flinging his clothes into his bag, grabbing it and dragging it out to the car. Luckily the keys were in his room. Dean could find his own fucking way to wherever. Sam was going home.


	25. 2018 is for Realizing Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean realizing stuff, Sam goes home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have good news and bad news. I'm swamped with work (yay! $$$) so I have limited writing time, most of which is going to my big bang. that's the bad? news. The good news is that once that's finished, finishing this is next. Other good news, the big bang is sooo good. At least I think so *shrugs*

"Sam!" 

Dean banged against Sam's door, even though he could see quite clearly that the car wasn't in the parking lot and that probably meant Sam was gone. 

"Sam!"

"Sir? Sir? Excuse me? That room is empty."

He stopped pounding, turned around to glare at the voice. It was a woman, dressed in a maid's uniform. Short enough to qualify as a tall midget. Dean smirked, thinking about midgets being one of Sam's phobias. Or was that just something he used to tease Sam about? He didn't know anymore. It'd been years since they did anything as every day as tease each other. 

Dean felt pain twist in his gut. 

"Sorry," he said instead of punching the maid in the jaw - that had been his first instinct. 

She nodded, "He left last night," she said staring sympathetically at him.

Dean opened his mouth to say something then just nodded and went back to his room. Sam must have left pretty soon after reading the note. Which meant it'd had the opposite effect from the one he was hoping for.

He dug out his phone and tried to call Sam again.

_This is Sam. Leave a message._

He hung up, sighed and collapsed on the bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering what to do next.

* * *

 

Sam drove up to the house, parked, and then just sat in the car, staring. He didn't know how to go in there and face his kids. He felt suddenly like a single parent. Like one of those wives in those cheesy movies where the man does the girl wrong and she falls apart and has to pick up the pieces all the while being an awesome but tragic single mom to her kids.

Sam wasn't that.

He was a lawyer. He was a killer. Being a parent was just something that happened to him. Those kids were like...accidental trophies he happened to win because he'd been driving on a race track and managed to cross the finish line first. These were _Dean's_ kids. They were Sam's gift to _Dean_. How were they supposed to go on without him?

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" Jasmine burst out the door, happy smile on her face, running toward him. What would he say when she asked where Papi was? 

Jupiter jumped down the stairs after her, not saying anything, just following along in her wake, smiling happily.

Sam needed to fix his face...urgently. 

He tried to remember how to smile, scrabbling at the door handle, fingers useless.

Jasmine stopped running by bumping into the car door and began to beat at it, "Open up daddy!" she called jumping up and down. Jupiter just went over to the passenger side, reached in through the open window and unlocked the door, jumping into the car with a grin.

"What you doing out here dad?" he asked.

Sam opened his mouth, trying to think of something.

"Daddy! Open!" Jasmine was still demanding at his window.

Jupiter reached over and unlocked Sam's door and Jasmine promptly opened it, jumping into Sam's lap.

"Daddy!" she cried.

"Hey babies," Sam said, voice breaking. 

Jasmine frowned, "Daddy what's wrong?"

Sam's lower lip trembled and he lowered his eyes, unable to look at his children, "N-nothing. Daddy's just got an owie."

Jupiter's eyes brightened, "An owie daddy? We should go and get ice cream. It will make the owie better."

Sam coudn't help it, he laughed out loud, "You're probably right about that." he said.

"Yay," Jasmine said scrambling promptly into the back seat, "We go get ice cream!"

Sam sighed inwardly, closed his door, made sure Jupiter's was closed too and they were both strapped in and then reversed out the gate. 

Ice cream might help. He was willing to try anything.


	26. Baby Mama Drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean meets with Toni. The full realization of what happened to him hits him all at once.

"So let me get this straight; you come into my room, have non-consensual sex with me and now you're saying that you plan to take my kid to England and raise it on your own?" 

"Pretty much." Toni's cool voice had Dean wanting to strangle her with his bare hands.

He growled instead.

"Don't tell me you want this child. Aren't you in an incestuous committed relationship with your brother?"

"That kid is a Winchester," was Dean's comeback.

" _Half_ Winchester. The other half is Bevel which I assure you, is more than enough to override any barbaric tendencies it might inherit."

"Did you plan this?" Dean asked.

Toni shrugged, "I've been wanting to have a child for some time now. You seemed a good candidate and the timing was right. I'm not one to let opportunity pass me by."

Dean inclined his head, "What do you take me for? some kind of animated doll you can use and discard at your convenience?"

Toni patted him lightly on the chest in dismissal, and it was all Dean could do not to grab her wrist and break it, "Come on Dean, your reputation as a ladies' man precedes you. Don't act like sex means anything to you."

"If you think I'd let my kid be raised by a rapist, you have another think coming."

Toni laughed, "I don't see how you can possibly stop me," she said twirling and walking away from him. Dean watched her go until she reached her room and let herself into it, closing the door behind her. He stared some more even if he couldn't see her anymore. He felt dirty, in a way that a shower could never fix. There was only one person who could make him feel better. And that person wasn't speaking to him.

* * *

 

Sam stared at the name on his phone screen. This was the fifth call in a row and Dean wasn't giving up. Sam considered switching his phone off, or putting it on silent, but what if something was really wrong? What if Dean was in trouble?

He clicked the answer box viciously and put the phone to his ear, "What?" he growled.

"Sam," Dean said.

His voice was broken in a way Sam had never heard before. Even when he was depressed, or despairing, Dean always had his game face on with Sam. Was _always_ the big brother. Even when 'big brother' was falling apart. But all that was absent now. He sounded like he'd reached the end of his rope, and the rope ended right at the tip of a steeply sloping slippery cliff.

"Dean," he said, voice low and concerned.

"I...need you."

Dean's voice was broken glass and darkness and suddenly Sam had to see him. 

"I'm coming. Where are you?" he said standing up.

"I'm down the road, opposite Mr. Chan's. Can I come home?"

"Yes, come to me, Dean. Come now."

Sam was already walking out the door, peering down the driveway anxiously. Pretty soon a lone figure with signature bow legs and a military haircut appeared; walking slowly toward Sam, as Dean breathed in his ear.

"Walk faster Dean," Sam said and the figure began to jog. Sam hurried down the stairs, hastening to meet him. They met at the bottom of the driveway, just past the fountain, slamming into each other like two runaway trains and just holding on.

"She...I..." Dean said painfully, swallowing hard.

"Shh. It's okay Dean. It's okay." Sam ran a hand soothingly up and down Dean's spine.

"It's...not," Dean said his voice breaking on every word, body hunched in on itself even as he clung to Sam.

"It will be. Come home." Sam pulled him toward the house and Dean let him.

"Sam." Dean's shaking voice had Sam wanting to look away from the devastation he could hear, "I'm sorry."

"I know. Dean. I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big bangs all done. I hope you'll read them once they're posted? (I did Malec and Wincest both). also, I have started a new Malec fic (totally by accident) and I have an idea for a wincest fic. I'm an addict. I need help. But I WILL finish this. I'll finish all of them.


	27. Brainstorming 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean need to talk about things.

Dean lay flat on his back in bed, hands cradling his head as he stared up at the ceiling. He could feel Sam breathing slowly beside him but couldn't really tell if he was asleep or awake.

It could be either.

He found it weird that he wasn't sure, and that distracted him from the litany of ' _She's taking my child away, she's taking my baby away'_ that was going round and round in his head, keeping him awake, keeping him from enjoying the long warm lanky naked length of Sam plastered against his side.

"I don't get it. You didn't even _want_ another child," Sam said suddenly, startling him.

"There's a difference between some hypothetical child and my seed in that sociopath's body," Dean snapped. He tried not to be short with Sam. He didn't want to fight. But he couldn't believe that Sam was making this about their stupid, old argument when he knew that the _circumstances were nowhere near the same._

"Hypothetical child huh?" Sam swallowed and Dean heard the click in his throat, knew he was hurt. Sam was hurting. And he wanted to be patient and comforting but he didn't have it in him right at this moment. Dean was angry and scared and feeling helpless and alone in this. He wanted Sam to be there for _him_ , just this once. Why couldn't his brother put his _motherfucking feelings_ aside for just one second and see this from Dean's point of view?

Sam sat up, putting his long legs on the ground.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked. He really needed to not be alone right now.

"Check on the kids. Get some water," Sam said sounding breezy and fake, "I'll be right back."

Dean sighed, watching Sam's naked backside sway slightly as he walked to the door, unhooked his robe and swung it onto his massive shoulders. Dean needed to lean on those shoulders. Just a little. He turned to the side, folding up almost in half as he buried his face in his pillow. He closed his eyes, trying to swallow the lump in his throat but finding that he couldn't. He heard the door close softly behind his brother and then nothing. Sam could move so quietly sometimes, like a ghost. He was wasted as a lawyer. He should be out hunting. Dean took another deep breath, scrunching his eyes shut, praying for the oblivion of sleep. Nothing changed except for how his breathing seemed to get louder, more nasal. Probably had something to do with him smothering himself in the pillow.

Whatever.

He thought about getting up, going to hang out in Jupiter's room, or Jasmine's. But he knew that it would just make the feeling in his chest worse. The conflicted happy bitterness of impending new life which he would not raise if Toni had her way. The fact that he gave no consent for it, but now he had to deal with his DNA joined to that of some sociopath and decide whether he would let her raise his kid or if he should gut her like a fish and save them all a lot of trouble.

He knew there was no way he could let her raise his kid.

However it was conceived, the child was innocent.

God, why hadn't he just agreed to have a kid with Sam and stayed home and never went hunting with those motherfucking Brits? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Dean wanted to scream and shout and throw a tantrum and have Sam there to catch him. But all Sam could focus on was...

He heard the door open and then close softly. Clink of a glass on the bedside table and then the bed dipped beside him.

Sam's hand against his shoulder, smacking it, wanting his attention.

"What?" he said aware of how sulky he sounded.

"Turn around," Sam said.

Dean gave a put-upon sigh before turning slowly on the bed. Sam was holding something out to him, something whose tip glowed in the dark.

"It'll help you to sleep," Sam said extending his hand closer so Dean could take it.

"Really? With the kids in the house?"

"You want it or not?" Sam said.

Dean reached out and took the long thin cylinder, the smell of weed permeating his senses, calming him already. He took a hit.

"You're welcome," Sam said lying back down.

Dean moved to the window and opened it. He sat on the ledge smoking the blunt, holding each puff in his chest as long as possible before blowing it out in smoke rings. he watched as the rings dissipated in the cold night air, and felt peace cloak him like an artificial blanket.

"Come here Sam," he said and heard the bed sheets rustle as Sam wiggled across the bed to climb out on Dean's side and pad over to the window ledge. Dean moved his own legs so Sam could sit with him on the ledge. He took a puff and then passed it on.

"You cold?" he asked, looking his naked brother up and down.

Sam shrugged, "I burn hotter than you humans," he said with a weak grin.

"C'mere," Dean said, widening his legs so that Sam could fit between them. His brother gave no demur, simply turned around and rested his back against Dean's chest. Dean took the blunt back and took a hit and then gave it back to Sam, snaking his arm around Sam's waist to pull him snug against him. he sighed contentedly.

"This is what I needed. Thank you," He said planting a gentle kiss on Sam's cheek.

Sam said nothing, just took another puff.

"What do you want to do with her?" he asked after a long moment of silence.

"Gut her like a fish," Dean said immediately.

He felt the rumble of Sam's laugh against his chest.

"What are we really going to do with her?"

Dean shrugged, "I can't let my kid be raised by a psycho."

Sam moved his head from side to side on Dean's shoulder, trying to get comfortable.

"I suppose we could gut her after she gives birth," he said.

Dean smiled, hugging Sam tighter to him, "You have the best ideas," he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter before this and this one has me thinking about consent and what we imagine consent is. Is what Toni did to Dean non-consensual at best, rape at worst? If Dean was a girl, would I have tagged 'rape' in this fic? What are your thoughts? I wanted to not take the responsibility of what Dean did away by saying she raped him because he didn't push her away. But he said no. So, am I using a double standard here? Did he cheat or was he raped?


	28. And they All Lived Happily?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding time for the brothers Winchester.

"I'm sorry man," Dean said flicking the stub of the blunt out the window.

"For?" Sam asked wriggling to get his naked self even more comfortable on Dean's chest.

"Everything. Holding things against you. Forgiving and not forgetting. Going away with the Brits. Fucking that chick. That stupid ass letter..."

Sam sighed, turning his head away from the window.

"What's done is done right?"

"Yeah maybe. But it's done because I was a fool. A vindictive fool. I don't blame you if you can't forgive me."

Sam snorted, "So around and around we go again?"

Dean laughed too, "Yeah I guess."

Sam straightened up in his seat, turning on the narrow bench by the window to face Dean and bent his leg, so he could hug it with his arms and put his chin on his knee.

"Yeah well, I've never been as smart as you Dean. I can't hold a grudge. I know how much this hurts you. Besides, I guess I sort of had it coming. And I know you won't let anything like this happen again, right?"

"I'll kill myself first."

"Please don't."

Dean sighed, bending over and hiding his face in his hands, "Even if we get this baby back, one day I'm gonna have to explain to the kids where it came from. That I cheated on you, had to steal my own kid, probably kill its mother."

Sam laughed softly.

"It isn't funny Sam," Dean's voice trembled and Sam realized he was very close to tears, "they're gonna hate me so much."

"They won't hate you, I won't let them," he said reaching out to rub at Dean's shoulder.

"Oh yeah? How you gonna stop them," Dean's voice was thick with tears.

"I'm gonna tell them every dumbass thing I've ever done from drinking demon blood to destroying Texas...everything Dean. Once I'm through with them they'll know who the real sinner is in this family."

"Or they'll just run away from both of us," Dean said with a wet laugh.

"Yeah well...at least we'll have each other right?" Sam replied ruefully with a twist of his lips.

"True. I'll always have my lil bitch," Dean said attempting to move away from all the  _emotion._

"'Course you will, jerk. Now stop hand-wringing and kiss me."

Dean leaned in slowly, watching Sam's eyes as his tongue snaked out and tasted Sam's bottom lip. He ran his tongue one way and then the other, wetting Sam's lip as his brother sat still, eyes closed, letting him do whatever he wanted. He shuffled closer, taking his exploration to Sam's left cheek, down to his jaw where he sucked peacefully as Sam let out a gasping breath and then went still again.

"Mmm," he said into Sam's skin and savored the resulting shiver, "Neck or ear, neck or ear, I'm spoiled for choice. You choose Sammy."

He whispered the words into Sam's quivering flesh and his brother arched his back, presenting his neck in submission.

"Shall I bite you like the wolf mate you should have?" he asked, opening his mouth wide and scratching at Sam's offered throat with his teeth. His brother whimpered pitifully and it revved Dean's engine like nothing before.

He stood up, grabbing his brother's arm and manhandling him to the bed, "Any more sounds outta you and we might both have fallen out the window," he said pouncing on his brother and working at his neck like a dog with a toy. Sam simply lay flat on the bed, shaking, and let him do whatever, his whole naked self laid out for Dean's pleasure.

"Are you my little toy?" he asked, "Do you want me to play with you?"

"Uuuuuuhhh," was Sam's eloquent reply as Dean played with his balls, simultaneously thrusting his tongue in Sam's ear and making him fold in two as his confused nerves tried to make sense of all the input.

"Uh uh," Dean said forcefully straightening him out, "I haven't even started with you."

Sam made some inarticulate sound and Dean laughed.

"Stanford graduate and that's as eloquent as you can get?" he asked.

"Dean, stop talking and fuck me or I swear to _God_!" Sam gritted his eyes glowing, teeth elongated, nails sharp as claws, hair sprouting behind his ears.

"Oooh, you want it doggy style?" Dean said supremely amused by all this. That was until Sam reached out and scratched his back.

"Ouch! Goddamit that hurt," he complained, doing nothing to lessen his hold on Sammy's balls or stop licking his flesh.

Sammy growled and placed his nails against Dean's back in warning.

"Okay okay, fine. You wanna fuck? We'll fuck. Give the customer what they want, right?" Dean said but Sam was tired of waiting and flipped them over so he was straddling Dean. He got hold of Dean's dick and just dropped on it, opening his mouth wide and _howling_ as Dean slid smoothly home.

 _"Fuck!"_ Dean said every muscle in his body straining, "If I come right now it's your own fault."

"If you come right now I'll never let you forget it." Sam threatened, swirling his hips for emphasis.

"Nnnnnggnm," Dean said still stiff as a board and panting like a thirsty dog.

Sam leaned down and thrust his tongue in Dean's mouth, holding nothing back as he tasted, sucked and licked, unable to get enough of his brother's essence in him. He felt like he was starving.

"Dean please," he said into Dean's throat and his brother arched upward, taking Sam with him and then flipped them around again. He withdrew from Sam, almost all the way and then thrust in, so slow and careful, so tender and loving that Sam felt tears roll down his face. He reached up, crossing his arms around Dean's neck even as he crossed his legs around Dean's torso and gave himself over. Eyes scrunched shut, he wept as Dean made love to him, every stroke was a message of love, hope, faith and forgiveness. Every thrust an 'I love you forever', every tender kiss and gentle touch an appreciation of Sam's flesh, his heart, his soul. It was almost too much for Sam to take, but he took it, and he gave it back. 

There was no need for words. An orgasm almost superfluous in the wake of spiritual oneness.

Having one was still awesome though.

They lay panting afterward, limbs intertwined with no care as to whose was whose. They were hot and sweaty, tired and sated, covered in bodily fluids; salty with tears and come. Sam sighed, turning his head to breath his content into Dean's mouth. 

"Hiya," he whispered.

Dean smirked, eyes closed but still wrinkling at the corners with the force of his happiness.

"Sleep?" he said.

"We should probably jump in a bath first." Sam said between tiny nips at his lips.

"Yeah, we should," Dean agreed and then sighed, sinking into unconsciousness.

Sam laughed with no sound, pulling his brother closer as he too fell into the arms of morphia.

* * *

"Daddy, daddy, Papi, daddy!" the sound of banging on the door startled them into alertness the next morning. they were stuck to each other like old chewing gum, and pulling apart was exactly like trying to separate gum from a surface.

"Ugh," Sam said his nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Yeah, I'm gonna let you deal with that," Dean gestured vaguely at the door, as he flopped back onto the pillow.

"Uh uh. No way my child is seeing me like this," Sam protested in a loud whisper.

"Daddy!" a second voice joined Jasmine and there were now two hands drumming on the door.

"They're calling _you_ not me," Sam hissed.

Dean sighed, "Go have breakfast! We're comin!" he said raising his voice so the rugrats could hear, "Ten minutes."

"Okay Daddy," Jasmine - ever obedient - said.

"Ten minutes!" Jupiter repeated sounding like _he_ was the parent.

"Yeah yeah, promise," Dean said struggling to sit up. He looked over at Sam, eyebrows raised.

"Shower?"

"Definitely."

Dean shuffled out of bed, pulling Sam with him to the ensuite bathroom. The perks of being rich included a multi-headed, high water pressured, giant glass-encased shower stall in which they could both fit.

"Ugh, heaven," Dean said as the water poured on him, Sam plastered sleepily on his back.

"Dean?" Sam said thoughtfully.

"Yeah?"

"Why don't we shower together more often?"

His head bobbed up and down as Dean's laugh shook his shoulders.

"Probably because we got kids."

"Oh yeah, interrupting buggers," Sam said peacefully.

"You really okay with maybe raising one that didn't come from your sexy loins?" Dean asked voice gone serious.

"I'm okay with raising another Winchester," Sam replied, reaching over to place his lips on Dean's.

"Because I love my kids, I do. I would die for them, in a heartbeat. But you, Sam Winchester, are the most important thing in the world to me." Dean said turning to curl his arms around Sam's neck.

"I know. And I love them too. Heck, I think I could love this other one. As long as you keep looking at me like I'm something precious. As long as you keep reminding me that I'm more than a monster. I can do anything really."

"You are a whole lot more than a monster Sam Winchester. You are my soul."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you have it. End of part 4. I'm thinking part 5 is probably gonna be called 'I will cut a bitch *Sam voice*. I think it's a catchy title.   
> Jokes.  
> Sam doesn't need a knife. He has claws and teeth.  
> I'm kidding. I may have a beast mode Sam kink. Sue me.  
> Well, there are other tales to be told (and finished) so Imma just let these guys marinate for a bit; add some cumin, gharam masala, vinegar...lots of salt and just see what results. Until next time!  
> I'm hungry.


End file.
